There are pretty much nothing but beautiful houses in Logan Circle, but this one might be the most impressive one of all. That’s no mean feat. That’s like having the worst suit in Congress, or being the worst driver in Maryland. To be the best (worst), you have to beat the best (worst). This incredible six-bedroom manse is spread over 6,000 luxurious square feet, or approximately one square foot for each time during our tour of this house that my girlfriend thought to herself, “why am I dating a writer instead of a rich guy?!” The house actually gets crazier as you go farther inwards; the brick facade makes it look like a standard-issue Logan townhouse, so you go in expecting that it’ll look like the inside of a country club that doesn’t admit anyone born north of the Mason-Dixon line. But then you enter into the bright open foyer, and you realize that you really can’t judge a book by its cover. (Unless it’s a romance or YA novel, then you can judge it by its cover with 100% accuracy.) The front of the house is pretty much a standard DC-style home interior, albeit a really nice one; there’s a spacious bay window (with floor-to-ceiling windows!) and a long living room oriented around an antique fireplace. But as you go move into the house, you see they’ve removed part of the upper floors to create an incredible cathedral ceiling/airshaft/lightshaft effect. You can stand on the ground floor and look right up to the very top floor. If I lived here, I’d keep a garbage can of filthy water up on the top floor in case any of my exes ever randomly visited. (“So good to see you, come look up through my amazing lightshaft!”)
On the ground floor there’s also a formal dining room, which is painted a sort of salmon pink, a color which, according to psychologists, makes you calm at first and then extremely violent, which is pretty much how I feel when I see dudes in salmon shorts. There’s also another antique fireplace, which could come in real handy if you eat off paper plates. The kitchen is very large, with probably more cabinet space than any kitchen I’ve ever seen. You could literally go grocery shopping once a year if you had this much cabinet space, though since no fruits or vegetables would last past the first month or so, you’d have pretty severe scurvy at the end of the year. (Still! Efficiency!) On the second floor, there’s a beautiful den/sitting room with a ton of built-ins, another bay window, and yet another fireplace. Do you like bay windows? How about fireplaces? If you said yes to both questions, this is definitely the house for you. Further on is the sprawling master bedroom; there are four very large windows along one wall, so if you want privacy you’ll either have to buy curtains or sleep on the floor with your whole body pressed up against the wall right under one of the windows. (Honestly, I’m so lazy that I would probably just do the sleeping on the floor thing rather than buy curtains.) The master bath features an awesome soaking tub, and double side-by-side basins, for competitive flossing.
Up top is the best part about the house; the top floor is basically a huge sky-lit greenhouse, with an insane amount of windows, and even a small lofted “bonus” area. It’s breathtaking and light-filled, although I will say that if you regularly sleep past, say, 9:30 AM, you’ll probably end up taping black plastic trash bags to the inside of all the windows and skylights, because the light up there probably gets pret-ty intense. Out back, there’s also a cozy, private brick patio where you could eat breakfast or have a drink on a summer night while mosquitoes drain ten percent of blood volume away per quarter-hour. (Seriously, DC has the worst mosquitoes ever.) And last but certainly not least, living in Logan Circle means you have quick access to all the bars and restaurants of 14th Street, which is now so popular that even my 62 year old mother wanted to go there when she visited me last weekend, a mind-bending experience I very narrowly avoided by telling her that Le Diplomate was closed on Fridays and Saturdays. (Hee hee!)
1318 Rhode Island Avenue NW
6 Bedrooms, 5.5 Baths